First of all, I just want to say that I love my friend very much, but god, she pisses me off.  Her, me, my boyfriend, and a friend of hers went to dinner last night.  We were having a great time, until the check showed up.  She blew up on me because she thought that I didn't tip enough.  "Well, people who can't afford it shouldn't go out to eat.  Go to McDonald's."  That made me feel so horrible.  I felt cheap, poor, hurt, shocked, and confused all at the same time.  It ruined the rest of my night, which included going to Pop's and U-City. 
 
I felt so uncomfortable in U-City.  Everyone there goes to college (obviously) and have internships at big, important corporations.  I just got pieces of conversations as we were walking down the street.  Everyone was speaking so intelligently.  All the people that I hang out with only talk about drugs, sex, and alcohol.  I wonder how different my life would have been if I went to college.  I'd have different friends, probably would have never met Ray ( :-( ), and wouldn't be working at Wal-Mart. 
 
I'd probably be smarter, too.  I always feel so stupid.  I may be smart about some things, but most things I am not.  I have no "street-smarts" whatsoever.  Whenever Ray takes me somewhere, like to a club or something,  I always stick out like a sore thumb because it's obvious that I don't belong there.  Then that makes me even more nervous than I already am, and in turn, say or do even more stupid things.  It's like my brain shuts off, but my mouth keeps moving.  I feel sorry for Ray sometimes; wanting to take me out to do things, but I'm just so nervous that I just stand or sit there and don't talk or do anything.  I love being with Ray, but I wish I just had some more confidence, then I think he'd be happier.